Go the F*ck to Sleep: A month of designing the perfect sleep routine
Note: This was an experiment I did on myself back in 2017. Present me (2020) still follows a similar routine today.
“In the morning you beg to sleep more, in the afternoon you are dying to sleep, and at night you refuse to sleep. ”
One thing that I have been struggling with for the longest time is falling asleep. I remember being 7 years old, unable to sleep, and walking the full lengths of my grandmother 4th floor house barefoot. I would feel the cool, slippery feel of the hardwood floors beneath my toes, silently praying for sleep. I would end up passing out eventually, splayed out on the wooden floors after walking what seems like the equivalent of the length of the Grand Canyon. Fast forward 14 years later and I still experience the same problem. So I set out to find a solution. A surefire way/routine/god-I’ll-try-anything to get me to fall asleep quicker. What resulted as a month long experiment to test different ways to improve my sleep hygiene.
Preparation
I set up in my journal a section to track my progress of sleep. I decided that I would track my improvement by tracking how many hours I get of sleep. The idea was that the more hours I get to sleep, it means that I got to fall a sleep easier/earlier. I categorized the 4 weeks into different kinds of methods I wanted to try to see which ones would help me fall asleep the most. These categories were:
Environmental — Manipulating the environment around me to help me fall asleep more. Ex: no laptops or phones in the bedroom, cooling down the room, candles?
Physical — Exercise everyday to test if it helps you sleep. Or do yoga to get some stretching in
Mental — Finding someway to slow my mind down, almost forcing my mind to wind down. Ex: Mediation to calm mind, journalling thoughts, doodling/doing something creative before bed
Habit Making — Setting a go-to-sleep alarm, starting a going-to-bed routine
Experiment
Week 1
Lessons learnt
Yellow light makes me get sleepy
Keeping technology out is not possible for me at this moment and I will need to work on that
Candles are nice, but I’m always afraid of setting my room on fire
Stressful thoughts keeps me up at night
I’m pretty much only using yellow lights in my room now
The first days didn’t start off great. I had just come back from Thailand and I was jet lagged out of my mind. The 20th was the day of orientation at my internship and I went to bed debating or not if I wanted to get a car and it kept me up for a very long time. The next night I called a friend and feel asleep on the phone, which becomes a common theme.
Keeping technology was a complete failure. I use my phone as an alarm. I write essays on my laptop. I read my textbooks on my iPad. I did however get a candle from Target and I liked how it made my room smell and the yellow light it gave off. Also, this was the week I figured out that white lights kept me up so I stopped turning on my room light when I go into my room at night.
Week 2
Lessons learnt
I am less likely to fall asleep if I’m really nervous about something / need to wake up early for something the next day
Doing things I liked, like baking, before bed seemed to really wind me down.
I actually don’t like going out and rather spend a Friday night in my apartment
Exercise does make me more tired and ready for bed
On Monday, I couldn’t fall asleep because I was nervous about not waking up on time for my internship the next morning. This repeats again on Thursday before my Friday internship. The rest of the week was much easier. I already dance 5+ hours a week, so I didn’t feel like I need every exercise, but I did do yoga on Sunday and that felt very relaxing. Friday night, I slept for 11 hours. I was very tired from working all day. When I came home I forgo homework completely and cooking a big batch of curry for the weekend and baked a loaf of banana bread. Just casually channeling my inner grandma here. Also have not gone out to any parties yet, even though there were quite a few going on this weekend. Also fell asleep talking to my friend on the phone Sunday night.
Week 3
Lessons learnt
Making a to-do list for the next day takes things I can’t control about today out of my head for the night
Talking to someone on the phone is probably the best bet to falling asleep
Again I start off the week unable to sleep because of fear that I would not wake up on time for my internship. I got into the habit throughout the week to make a to-do list for the next day which helped to get a lot of things off my mind. I listened to a few guided mediations from Headspace that was meh. What really winded my down was talking on the phone with my friend. More than once did I fall asleep with my earbuds still in my ears. During this week, it really occurred to be that my inner fears of loneliness is especially apparent during nighttime (possibly because I always slept in a room full of people during my childhood?). By talking to them at night, it subsided my fears of being alone and calmed me down. I am so grateful whenever they answers the phone. Also, baths. Something about taking an hour long bath while watching an episode of The Magician is unbelievably soothing.
Week 4
Lessons learnt
Um, I’m a creature of habit?
What I imagine my leg looks like if I don’t moisturize
I was getting much better at falling asleep now. My sleepless nights have reduced from 2–3 nights a week to only 1. Sure, it’s not the best but that’s a great improvement for me. I was getting more-ish sleep now. I got into a habit of calling someone right before bed and talking until I either felt sufficiently sleepy or fall asleep on the phone (which I feel really rude for doing — sorry). I would come back, back a shower, slather on lotion so that I don’t make up feeling like a scaly lizard, talk on the phone and fall asleep. If I’m still not sleepy, I’ll read a book or draw some doodles. It seems to be working pretty well.
Experiment conclusion and Next steps
I get lonely at night, which causes my stressed out mind to find comfort in the thoughts in my own head which isn’t always the best things
I worry a lot about future events that I can’t control and past events that I can’t change. Future project: learn to live in the moment? (oh how cliche!)
Find something that makes you feel safe. I like using that word rather than calm because I waver between disillusion and full on panic. Having some method to feel safe in my space makes me feel at ease. So whether its petting your dog and whispering your secrets. Talking on the phone (or in person!) to someone. Writing letters to no one. Journalling. Do what works for you to ease stressful thoughts out of your head.
I also found out that I have an equally hard time getting up in the morning. That will be a project for a future time
Only buy yellow lightbulbs from now on