Chinese Festivals and Identity: Brainstorming and Secondary Research
In Class Lotus Exercise
This week, I focused on narrowing down my interests into a possible topic. This started off with an exercise we did in the class called the Lotus Exercise. It is an ideation exercise that can continue to infinity. For my first try, I did it for Chinese traditions, dog adoption, and education. It was during class that I found myself gravitating towards the topic of Chinese traditions, specifically festivals. While there is more than one reason why I ended focusing on that subject, which I will explain below, the main reason for my gravitation was that I realized that it was easier for me to come up with questions about it and that I found it easier to create new paths of interest.
After class, I was able to discuss my idea with Professor Ahmed, which helped to open up the topic even more in ways I didn’t think about before. For example, I had never thought about how the subject had related to me personally before and how that might be an interesting angle for research through autoethnography.
Notes from Discussion with Professor Ahmed
Many of the things you use as an example seem to have a personal memory attached to it, perhaps you should explore why this subject is important to you
Recommends that my first set of readings cover a strong foundation on my interests in rituals, social practices, and Chinese culture
What is a ritual? How does it survive? How does it erode? How does it transmit?
Look into examples of autoethnography and think about how I might want to one myself
Start thinking about how I might want to narrow down my topic even further, as the topic of Chinese festivals is still very broad
At Home Lotus Exercise
Following the class and my discussion with Professor Ahmed, I continued the lotus exercise at home via FigJam. I found it very easy to come up with questions and progressively harder to answer them. Some of the questions I asked were easier things to answer such as: What are some of the major festivals Chinese people celebrate? What are common symbols in Chinese festivals? How might a traditional/festival erode?. However, there are some things I can’t answer at all: What makes someone Chinese? Why do some traditions and festivals stay relevant and others not? How do festivals transmit from generation to generation? These are definitely the questions that I want to look further into.
I have no recollection of ever coming here. What were we there for? Why? What were we celebrating?
I think what I have learned most this week is how much this subject meant to me on a personal level. For every question I came up with, I instinctively thought back to my own childhood for potential answers. Growing up Thai-Chinese, these festivals were a huge part of my childhood. Yet, I remember almost nothing about them. What do they mean? How do we celebrate them? What rituals and foods are involved in each of them? I remember back to my childhood and have memories of my mom getting ready for these festivals with her sisters. How my grandmother would spend all week cooking and ordering accompanying materials so that we can celebrate all the rituals in the festival. Why don’t I remember them? Did I not try hard enough? How did my mom and grandmother always remember everything?
By not remembering these festivals, it makes me feel like I have lost a part of my identity by not remembering it. It makes me question who I am. Maybe the reason these festivals and celebrations have become important to me in my adult self is because I’m trying to regain that part of my identity. Perhaps this stems from the years I have lost not being able to go back home to Thailand. There’s a part of me that feels like I’m never at home anywhere, as my formative years have been spent on two continents. There’s a feeling I get wherever I go that half of my life is never with me. That I’m always an outsider wherever I go. I think this is a common immigrant experience, but I’m not sure. That’s also something I aim to find out.
Next steps for me:
Do foundational reading about rituals, festivals, and social practices
Read examples of autoethnographies and think about how I might go about doing one for myself
Read up about Chinese diaspora communities, particularly Thai-Chinese communities
Research Statement as of 09/26/2021
I am studying how rituals celebrated in Chinese festivals are pass down because I want to find out how intergenerational cultural transmission is imperfect in order to help Chinese-heritage people feel more connected to their cultural identity so that they might better understand festivals and what ways of celebration is best for them.